My children are 10 and 8 at the time of writing this. Both are autistic. Both were nonverbal until ages 3 and 6.
And for a long time…Tablets and TV were a constant in our home.
I worked full-time. My husband was in the military. We survived in seasons. We adapted. We did what worked.
Closed captions were always on. We downloaded academic apps. We leaned into educational videos. And yes — those apps are still comfort tools for my children today.
If you’re parenting autistic children and wondering whether you’re doing “too much screen time,” I want to talk to you.
Because I’ve been there.
Autism and Independent Play: What No One Talks About
It is not uncommon for children with autism — especially those with more significant support needs — to struggle with independent or imaginative play.
My daughter has over 100 stuffed animals (after donating three garbage bags full before moving overseas). She adores them. Sleeps with them. Travels with them.
But she doesn’t “play” with them in the typical sense.
No vet clinic.
No classroom pretend play.
They just… exist.
My son carries two little figures everywhere. They don’t interact in a dollhouse. They don’t act out scenes.
He holds them. Shakes them. They regulate him.
They both love opening gifts on birthdays and Christmas.
But my son still has unopened toys — a drum set and laptop — sitting in their boxes.
Not because he’s ungrateful.
Because they simply don’t interest him.
This is autism.
And for a long time, I internalized that as failure.
Autism and Screen Time: Is It Really All Bad?
Let’s be honest. We all know the research about excessive screen time.
I knew it too.
But here’s what I also knew: my children were learning.
Through educational apps and videos, they learned early reading skills. They learned foundational academics. They absorbed information in ways that traditional teaching sometimes couldn’t reach.
Would I have preferred to be the one teaching it all directly?
Of course.
Did they still learn?
Yes.
Sometimes adapting your expectations isn’t lowering your standards — it’s meeting your child where they are.
Homeschooling Autistic Children: Reintroducing Play Intentionally
When we began homeschooling, free play started disappearing. Nights became “learning time.” I tried to make it engaging, but after a full day of work, I often felt like I wasn’t enough.
So we shifted.
Now, we intentionally create opportunities for play.
Family Night (4 Nights a Week)
We set aside 1–2 hours for mostly tech-free connection:
- Bowling
- Board games
- Dance parties
- “The Floor Is Lava”
- Silly challenges like “Say the Word on the Beat” or “Guess the Emoji”
One night a week is movie night. Full-length, age-appropriate films. We practice:
- Sitting through discomfort
- Patience
- Focus
- Discovering new interests
Some movies are hard. Some are magical.
But we’re building stamina.
Modeling Imaginative Play for Autistic Kids
Sometimes I build a “children’s museum” in our home.
One station was a dentist station.
And suddenly? The imaginative play came alive.
Short bursts. Not typical. But real.
We:
- Took turns being the dentist
- Created signs for the office
- Found new “patients”
- Set timers to structure the experience
The key?
I play too.
Without modeling, the engagement fades quickly.
For autistic children, imaginative play often has to be introduced, structured, and scaffolded.
Not forced.
Modeled.
The Day the Internet Went Out (And No One Melted)
Today, our internet went out.
If you homeschool autistic children, you understand the fear in that sentence.
After homeschool, tablets are their decompression time. We share the space. I monitor what they watch. It’s calm.
So when the internet dropped, I braced myself.
Instead of panicking, I calmly explained:
- I am not the enemy.
- I can’t control the internet.
- I will let you know when it’s back.
Then I offered alternatives.
Crafts.
Games.
Toys.
Books.
My daughter disappeared upstairs (I assumed to sulk).
She came down wearing P.I. goggles.
She announced she was solving “The Case of the Missing Internet.”
She recruited her brother.
They disappeared for an hour.
They returned holding a small lion toy.
“The lion did it.”
An hour.
No screens.
No meltdown.
No prompting from me.
Independent imaginative play — without pressure.
I turned on my phone hotspot as a reward.
Five minutes later, the internet came back.
But something bigger had already happened.
Autism Parenting and Letting Go of “Perfect”
Our small moments matter.
Introducing imaginative play doesn’t mean it sticks immediately. It means we’re showing options.
Not for today.
For the future.
There are things my children may never want to do. Things they may never enjoy the way neurotypical children do.
I am still learning to be okay with that.
But today?
We avoided a meltdown.
We used imagination.
They did it independently.
For an hour.
And recently, my son has even begun voluntarily choosing more time in the “real world” and less time on his tablet.
Growth doesn’t always look loud.
Sometimes it looks like a pretend lion sabotaging the Wi-Fi.
If You’re Struggling With Screen Time and Autism…
If you’re wondering whether your autistic child has too much screen time…
If you feel like you’re not doing enough…
If you feel guilty for adapting…
Hear this:
You are not failing.
You are adjusting.
You are learning your child.
You are building capacity — slowly, intentionally, and without unnecessary pressure.
Model the skills.
Create the opportunities.
Then give space.
It may not all stick.
But some of it will.
And sometimes, that’s enough.
Let’s Talk
If you’re parenting autistic children, I would love to hear from you.
How do you balance screen time and real-world engagement in your home?
What has worked? What hasn’t?
Have you seen growth over time?
Drop a comment and share your experience — your story may be the encouragement another parent needs today. 💛