I’m 41 (almost 42). I hold a bachelor’s degree in anthropology, a master’s in elementary education, and a PhD in curriculum and instruction. On paper, I am deeply trained in how children learn.
And yet, homeschooling my own children has humbled me in ways no degree ever could.
I’ve been homeschooling my daughter for three years and my son for two. In that time, I’ve had to redefine what “important” really means.
When I was younger, important meant credentials, performance, achievement, productivity.
Now? Important means regulation. Connection. Confidence. Growth at the right pace.
Motherhood shifts your metrics.
The Humbling Truth About Learning
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is this: no matter how much education you have in the field of education… there is always something new to learn.
Take math, for example.
When I introduce a new concept to my daughter, she memorizes the formula or facts, practices a few times, and it sticks. She thrives on repetition and quickly moves toward mastery.
My son learns the same concepts — but he needs manipulatives. Even for something as simple as 5 + 1 or 2 – 1, he needs physical representation. He also benefits from checklists and step-by-step verbal reminders.
Is that a problem? Not at all.
But it has required a mindset shift for me.
Differentiation is not optional in our home. Without it, my son would struggle unnecessarily. My daughter would likely succeed — but she wouldn’t be challenged. And boredom is its own barrier to learning.
So differentiation it is.
From Separate Blocks to Shared Learning
For a long time, I homeschooled in blocks — first my son, then my daughter.
Recently, we shifted to learning simultaneously.
And the results surprised me.
First, whoever isn’t the primary focus still listens. Passive learning is powerful. Even when they appear disengaged, they are absorbing more than I realize.
Second, there’s unity in doing school together. No child loves stopping playtime for lessons (I do run a structured day), but there’s comfort in not doing it alone. There’s a shared experience. A sense of “we’re in this together.”
If one child needs more support, I structure independent work for the other — similar to small group instruction in traditional classrooms. The difference? My small groups are one-on-one. I can respond immediately. I can adjust in real time.
And that flexibility matters.
Motivation Changes Everything
Another major shift in my thinking: when my children have ownership over their learning, motivation skyrockets.
My kids don’t always share the same interests as their peers — and that’s okay.
Science has become our playground for interest-led learning.
Right now:
- Isabella is researching newborn baby joeys.
- Hunter is immersed in Halloween (which has opened the door to historical exploration, too).
Through these topics, we practice research skills, organize information, and present what we’ve learned. Those are lifelong academic skills — we’re just learning them through subjects that actually engage them.
Interest fuels effort.
Effort builds skill.
Skill builds confidence.
Flexibility Over Perfection
Homeschooling my autistic children requires constant flexibility.
Sometimes I shift what we’re learning.
Sometimes I shift how I’m teaching it.
Sometimes I shift how long we stay with a concept.
Sometimes I change the materials entirely.
This level of responsiveness is something I was trained for professionally — but living it daily with my own children has given it new meaning.
I often see parents at the beginning of their journey asking:
“What is the best curriculum for my child with insert diagnosis here?”
If I could offer one piece of advice, it would be this:
There is no perfect curriculum — especially for children with more profound autism.
I’ve used many programs over the years. Now, I treat curriculum as a guide, not a rulebook.
I build our learning around:
- State standards
- Their interests
- Their intellectual ability
- And an unwavering assumption of competence
In some areas, my children are ahead of their peers. In others, they are still developing foundational skills. Both realities can exist at the same time.
I teach them where they are.
When they master it, we move forward.
Not before.
Not because a pacing guide says so.
But because they’re ready.
And that has redefined “important” more than any degree ever did.
You Don’t Need the Perfect Curriculum — You Need Permission
If you are at the beginning of your homeschooling journey — especially with a child who learns differently — let this be your permission slip.
You do not need the perfect boxed curriculum.
You do not need to replicate public school at home.
You do not need to teach the way everyone else on the internet says you should.
You need to know your child.
You need to observe.
You need to stay flexible.
You need to assume competence.
Start there.
Build around their strengths. Adjust for their needs. Follow their interests. Teach the child in front of you — not the imaginary “average” student.
And if this resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you.
What has homeschooling taught you?
Where have you had to shift your thinking?
Leave a comment, share this post with another parent who needs encouragement, or follow along as we continue navigating this journey at Ausome Homegrown Learners.
You are not behind.
You are building something intentional.
And that matters more than perfect ever could.
