You’re Not Doing It Wrong
Overwhelmed by the everyday struggles of life?
Tired of comparing your life—or your children—to others, both neurodiverse and neurotypical?
Tired of the uncertainty?
The uncertainty about their future… their abilities… or even what kind of day they’ll have from one moment to the next?
Me too.
Shortly after pulling my daughter from school and stepping fully into homeschooling, I found myself in survival mode. I was overwhelmed by curriculum choices, and the amount of work it took to make that curriculum actually work for her felt crushing.
When we stayed in our little bubble, things felt manageable. But the moment we stepped into co-ops or social groups, everything got louder—the differences, the struggles, the comparisons.
I could clearly see where she was struggling… and where others were thriving.
And if I’m being honest, it broke my heart.
That’s when the doubts crept in:
- Am I doing enough?
- Was this the right decision?
- Am I the one holding her back?
Those thoughts don’t just disappear overnight. Truthfully, they still pop up sometimes. But something did change—my mindset.
As I began focusing on how my children learn best, everything shifted. Our lessons became more engaging. Our days became more manageable. And most importantly—both of my children began learning, growing, and developing in ways that actually worked for them.
It’s not always easy. We still hit bumps.
But we’re moving forward—and that matters.
Understanding Learning Styles in Autistic Homeschooling
There are multiple learning styles—auditory, visual, kinesthetic, reading/writing, social, solitary, and logical. Most of us fall into a mix of these.
For example:
- My brother was a visual learner—he could read something once and remember it.
- I needed to interact with information (kinesthetic + reading/writing) for it to stick.
With my children, one of the biggest challenges early on was their language delays. They couldn’t easily tell me what was working—or what wasn’t.
So we struggled through lessons… a lot of them.
Until I realized something important:
👉 It wasn’t them struggling to learn.
👉 It was the way I was presenting the information.
Another thing I noticed? Learning styles can shift depending on the subject.
That realization changed everything.
What Inclusive Education Really Means in Homeschool
When we hear “inclusive education,” we often think about helping our children fit in.
But in a homeschool setting, we need to completely reframe that idea.
Inclusive homeschooling means meeting your child exactly where they are—and building from there.
It’s not about catching up.
It’s not about keeping pace with others.
It’s about creating an environment where your child can actually succeed.
And let me say this clearly (because it matters):
Inclusion does NOT mean replicating school at home.
If traditional school worked, you probably wouldn’t be here.
Homeschooling gives you something incredibly powerful:
1. Flexibility
- Adjust schedules around therapies, appointments, and real life
- Spend more time where needed—or move on when ready
2. Individualization
- Customize learning to your child’s pace and needs
- Reduce stress (for both of you)
3. Whole-Child Approach
- You don’t have to choose between emotional, sensory, or academic needs
- You can support all of them—together
Some days that looks like full lessons.
Other days it looks like review, movement, and extra snuggles.
And that still counts.
Core Principle #1: Follow Your Child’s Sensory Needs
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this:
If sensory needs aren’t met, learning won’t happen.
There is simply too much going on in their bodies to focus on math or reading.
That’s why sensory regulation is always my first priority.
What this looks like in our homeschool:
- Movement breaks (scheduled and as-needed)
- Flexible seating (table, floor, trampoline, outside)
- Quiet spaces when things feel overwhelming
Just today, my son finished an activity, went to jump for a few minutes, and came right back ready to learn. No permission needed—just awareness.
Sometimes we read under blankets on the couch.
Sometimes we separate into different rooms for quiet.
We adapt as needed.
👉 Strategy to remember: Regulation before expectation
Core Principle #2: Use Strength-Based Learning
Start with what your child can do—and what they love.
This doesn’t mean avoiding hard things.
It means using strengths and interests to unlock learning.
Example: Minecraft
You might think, “How can I turn that into learning?”
Actually… it’s perfect.
- Reading: Minecraft books, guides, stories (these can be found here on Amazon).
- Science/STEM: naturally built into gameplay
- Math: area, perimeter, building design
- Writing: stories, game explanations, preferences
You can even:
- Create themed worksheets
- Build unit studies around their interests
- Let them choose research topics
We do this often—and honestly, it reduces prep for me while increasing engagement for them.
Core Principle #3: Flexible Structure Over Rigid Schedules
You’ve probably heard: “Kids with autism need structure.”
That’s true—but what they really need is predictability.
Rigid schedules can actually backfire when life inevitably changes.
What works better:
✔ Rhythm over schedule
A consistent flow with room for flexibility
✔ Visual schedules
The routine becomes checking the schedule—not the schedule itself
✔ Previewing the day
We talk about tomorrow the night before to reduce anxiety
✔ Short, chunked lessons
Clear start and stop points = less overwhelm
And most importantly?
👉 Give yourself (and your child) grace when things shift.
Core Principle #4: Multi-Sensory Teaching Works Best
Children—especially autistic learners—benefit from experiencing information in multiple ways.
In our skip-counting lessons, we used:
- Songs (auditory)
- Movement (kinesthetic)
- Color-coded cards (visual)
- Legos (hands-on)
- Games like hopscotch (interactive)
By the end of the week, they weren’t just memorizing—they understood.
And because we included non-verbal ways to respond (like pointing to cards), language delays didn’t hold them back.
Core Principle #5: Build Emotional Safety First
This one is deeply personal.
My son is homeschooled because of a traumatic experience in school. After that, learning stopped—not because he couldn’t learn, but because he didn’t feel safe.
We slowed everything down.
We focused on:
- Predictability
- Connection
- Emotional check-ins
And slowly, things changed.
Is he behind in some areas? Yes.
Is he learning now? Also yes.
👉 Because he feels safe.
Remember:
Behavior = communication
When children are dysregulated, they are telling us something.
When they feel safe and supported, they will learn.
Practical Inclusive Homeschool Strategies You Can Start Today
If you’re wondering, “What can I actually do right now?”—start here:
- Create a calm-down space (not punishment—regulation)
- Use visual timers for less-preferred tasks
- Offer choices instead of demands
- Break lessons into short segments throughout the day
- Celebrate every small win
(Seriously—I will celebrate anything. And it matters.)
Common Mistakes to Avoid in Homeschooling Autistic Children
Let’s make this easier on you:
- Don’t compare your homeschool to traditional school
- Don’t push through dysregulation
- Don’t overload your curriculum
- Don’t ignore sensory cues
You’re not behind—you’re building something different.
Encouragement: This Counts
No matter what your homeschool looks like:
It counts.
You are uniquely equipped to teach your child.
You know them. You love them. You are learning alongside them.
Focus on progress—not perfection.
Some days will feel amazing.
Others will feel like a mess.
But if you keep moving forward, your child will grow.
And so will you.
Call to Action
If this encouraged you, you’re not alone on this journey.
For more:
- Inclusive homeschool strategies
- Autism-friendly lesson plans
- Real-life encouragement and support
Follow along here on the blog and connect with me on social media.
And if you’re ready for something practical you can use right away, grab my low-prep homeschool toolkit designed specifically for families like yours.